I’m both querying my novel and potty training my almost 3-year-old dear daughter, and let me tell you, neither is going particularly well.


Ten ways querying and potty training are alike:

10. They’re both necessary evils. Put on your big-girl/boy briefs/boxers and do it.

9. Children and rejecting agents get the last word. (Rhymes with “go.”)

8. Both will leave you crying on the bathroom floor.

7. The processes require patience, time, hard work and an unavoidable predilection toward masochism. For realz.

6. Stickers are an appreciated reward for a job well done. Preferably with unicorns.

5. Just accept the fact that you’re going to get shit on and pissed off.

4. Eventually, you’ll resort to bribery.

3. If you’re not paying attention, BAD things happen.

2. Both will give you nightmares about going to the bathroom in front of an audience. (TMI? Sorry.)

1. No matter the result, you’ve still got something you created to hold onto.